## The emotions of programming
-There's a stereotype of a programmer sitting emotionless in front of the computer. They sit quietly entering lines of code as though they were transcribing them from memory. But if you've been a programmer or have been around programmers you know that it's more like the stereotype of a frustrated composer. Sure we sit in front of our computers for periods of silence and concentration but we're far from emotionless. We bask in the glories of code that works perfectly the first time. We glower at code that misbehaves. We go from cheering ourselves in victory to cursing the machine and threatening it with clenched fists. We swing from emotion to emotion: exuberance, joy, fear, anger, resentment, sadness, loneliness, guilt, and shame.
+There is a stereotype of programmers where the programmer is shown quietly sitting in front of the computer. They show no emotion as they enter lines of code into the computer, as though they were transcribing everything from memory. But if you've been a programmer or have been around programmers you know the experience is more akin to the stereotype of a frustrated composer. Sure we sit in front of our computers for periods of silence and concentration but we're far from emotionless. We bask in the glories of code that works perfectly the first time. We glower at code that misbehaves. We go from cheering ourselves in victory to cursing the machine and threatening it with clenched fists. We swing from emotion to emotion: exuberance, joy, fear, anger, resentment, sadness, loneliness, guilt, and shame.
No wonder we're exhausted by the end of the day.
### Purpose and utility
-If we clearly see where and how this code will become useful we can get a sense of drive and purpose --- we're working toward something that will benefit folks! Whatever pitfalls lie in wait for us we can be assured that we will do our best to make sure that we conquer them as best we can because people are depending on us. We can tap into the emotional highs of self-worth and purpose to help carry us through to completion.
+If we clearly see where and how this code will become useful we can get a sense of drive and purpose --- we're working toward something that will benefit folks! We know that people are depending on us so we do our best to make the code work regardless of the pitfalls that await us. We tap into the emotional highs of self-worth and purpose to help carry us through to completion.
-The opposite is true, of course --- if we don't see the purpose then our work will seem useless and in vain. We'll struggle to meet deadlines and feel a sense of worthlessness in our pursuits. Sometimes it's a project that isn't aligned with our own purposes and goals. Or it could be a poorly managed project that we're forced to work on, despite our never explicitly agreeing to the terms. We can be frustrated trying to meet an arbitrary deadline if we don't see the point of what we're working on.
+The opposite is true, of course --- if we don't see the purpose then our work will seem useless and in vain. We'll struggle to meet deadlines and feel a sense of worthlessness in our pursuits. Sometimes it's a project that isn't aligned with our own purposes and goals. Or it could be a poorly managed project that we've been forced to work on because of external pressures. We can be held to meet arbitrary deadlines that we never agreed to meet. And we can become frustrated if we don't see the point of what we're working on.
### Engagement vs. boredom
-You've already experienced several layers of engagement with your programming. There are projects and topics that don't feel like a chore. You feel like you're learning something each step of the way. The outside world disappears while we work in a cocoon of focus. We lose track of time and feel both disoriented and refreshed when the work is completed.
+You've already experienced several layers of engagement with your programming. These are the projects that don't feel like a chore while you work on them. You feel like you're learning something each step of the way. The outside world disappears while we work in this cocoon of focus. We lose track of time and feel both disoriented and refreshed when the work is completed.
-Conversely you're probably more familiar with the opposite: boredom. The code base doesn't engage you at all. The topic you're learning or working on is just re-hashing something you already know. It's a chore to get started. Everything in the world feels way more interesting and the minutes drag along throughout the whole process.
+Unfortunately you're probably more experienced with the opposite of engagement: boredom. The code base doesn't engage you at all. The topic you're learning or working on is just re-hashing something you already know. It's a chore to get started. Everything in the world feels way more interesting and the minutes drag along throughout the whole process.
### Awake vs. tired
-Sleep is a major contributor to how we perceive the world. Getting enough sleep manifests in feeling refreshed, awake, and inspired. We have the energy reserves at the ready to take on whatever challenges befall us. But when we don't get enough sleep (or enough quality sleep) we become irritable and less-open to engagement. We conserve our resources as best we can lest we use them up too quickly. We look to stimulants (caffeine, distractions, and the like) to keep us engaged throughout the day.
+Sleep is a major contributor for how we perceive the world. Getting enough sleep allows us to feel refreshed, awake, and inspired. We need to have the energy reserves to take on whatever challenges befall us. But when we don't get enough sleep (or enough quality sleep) we become irritable and less-open to engagement. We conserve our resources as best we can lest we use them up too quickly. We look to stimulants (caffeine, distractions, and the like) to keep us engaged throughout the day.
### Mental state
-I'm using "mental state" in a broad sense to cover any of our existing feelings and current mental well-being. These can range from temporary feelings of unhappiness and melancholy to complex and serious topics like clinical depression and PTSD. Our minds are complex machines that do their best to adapt to the situations and environments presented to them. At times this can clash with our desires to be productive and the struggle between our mental state and our desires can cause further emotional drain, discomfort, and despair.
+I'm using "mental state" in a broad sense to cover any of our existing feelings and current mental well-being. These can range from temporary feelings of unhappiness and melancholy to complex and serious topics like clinical depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Our minds are complex machines that do their best to adapt to the situations and environments presented to them. At times this can clash with our desires to be productive and the struggle between our mental state and our desires can cause further emotional drain, discomfort, and despair.
There are more things that can affect our emotions but these are the ones that I'd like to focus on as they cover a broad spectrum of what we bring to the tasks of learning and programming.
Being aware of our emotional state (what we're feeling right now) gives us our current emotional location. We can see where we are and understand what our mind is telling us. Giving ourselves a few moments to truly see what emotional state our mind is in will help us to move forward.
-Note that we're not trying to change our emotional state. We're not trying to force ourselves to be something we're not. If we're truly unhappy with where we are or what we're doing it's more helpful to see what's causing this unhappiness than to try to paper over those emotions. Seeing our emotions clearly allows us to see what is causing them. Being present with these emotions allows us to better understand our mental state and what we're capable of in the moment.
+Note that we're not trying to change our emotional state. We're not trying to force ourselves to be something that we aren't. If we're truly unhappy with where we are or what we're doing it's more helpful to understand what's causing our unhappiness rather than try to paper over those emotions. Seeing our emotions clearly allows us to see what is causing them. Being present with these emotions allows us to better understand our mental state and what we're capable of in the moment.
-You can do this in the context of mindfulness meditation but even sitting at your desk and thinking "for one to two minutes I'm just going to sit here and explore my emotional state" should suffice. Seeing our emotions for what they are and digging in to find out what is causing them can help us understand what we're feeling.
+You can do this in the context of mindfulness meditation but even sitting at your desk and thinking "for one to two minutes I'm just going to sit here and explore my emotional state" should suffice. Noticing our emotions, understanding what they are, and digging in to find out what is causing them can help us understand what we're feeling.
You might already know what is causing these emotions and emotional state and be afraid of exploring them. Some emotions may overwhelm us and make us feel things that we don't want to feel. Do as much of this as you are able and be gentle with yourself. You may find that your gentle prodding of these emotions can lead you to better understand them. Be as brave as you can with these emotions and if they start to overwhelm you then pull back and let the residue of those feelings subside before continuing.
projects / themediocreprogrammer.git / commitdiff