Adding more about community

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@@ -22,4 +22,27 @@ If you're at a loss for finding the right group (perhaps you're in an area where
 
 There are many ways to be creative with this as well. The advent of many different online tools allows you to build communities with folks across the globe. Bringing these folks together to talk and discuss ideas and offer help is amazing when it happens.
 
-I recognize that not everyone can do this.
+## The difficulty in finding a good community
+
+I recognize that not everyone can do this. Online spaces have a reputation of not being a welcoming place for folks, and in-person group meetings can use up whatever mental resources you have. It took me a long time to get up the courage to go to my first in-person meetings as I'd had a bad experience with someone who I thought was at these meetings. But I'm grateful that I did get the courage to attend my first meetings. These lead me to friendships and other "traveling companions" to help me along the way. It lead to switching to one of my favorite programming languages (Python) and a feeling of belonging. It also lead to other work as folks got to know me.
+
+But betting over the initial hurdle is hard. Our fear of rejection or of making ourselves vulnerable to strangers takes a lot of mental energy and can sap us of the joy of wanting to be a part of this.
+
+Online communities can be a great way to find others. They gather folks from locations other than our own and bring them to a common area. Part of the reason I made my jump into meeting folks in person was because of good experiences on IRC. I started enjoying the company of these folks and felt comfortable meeting them in person.
+
+The low barrier to entry for many online communities can allow us to see what the community is about. What are their priorities? Are they kind to folks who are starting out? Do they have a pattern of helping or of hurting? Do they have members who nurture their fellow members or are they cutting each other down?
+
+I'm not aware of a good strategy for determining if a community is going to be helpful or hurtful. It takes some effort to put ourselves out and be vulnerable for a bit to see if others will be gentle with us. Communities are made up of people and people are fickle and irrational creatures. What might be an amazing community for one person may be a toxic environment for another.
+
+## Things to look for in a good community
+
+There are a list of things that I would look for in a community. This is not a definitive list of everything that makes up a good community but it will give some guidelines for what I think is important:
+
+* Code of conduct: There needs to be some list of things that the community will accept, tolerate, and abhor. It should be visible to all members of the community. It must also be enforced. If you note discussions where the code of conduct is selectively enforced you should be wary of that community.
+* Moderators: There needs to be someone in the community that can diffuse situations and meter out meaningful punishments if folks get out of hand. They should demonstrate that they are following a visible code of conduct by their actions.
+* Spaces for questions and guidelines for good questions: There should be a place for folks to be safe in asking questions of the members of the community. People should feel safe in asking questions, and the community needs to be clear on what considers a good question. Is the space OK for beginner questions? If not, can such a space be made? What sorts of questions would the community be happy to answer and what sorts of questions would upset the community?
+* Joy: Do the people in the community seem pleased to discuss things? What's the tone of the conversations? Are folks being positive with each other or are they resorting to insults and name-calling? Are questions welcomed or are they discouraged or ignored?
+* Compassion and empathy: Does the community allow for people to make mistakes? When something goes wrong does the community try to help as best it can?
+* Kindness: This is the most important factor - does the community behave in a kind manner to others or do they split off into factions and try to cut each other down. Do they view new folks as friends or as outsiders that must prove themselves?
+
+These are just a sample of what I find in good communities. Feel free to add to this list as your experience grows (and let me know so I can update this list).