## Learning from failure
-Sometimes we fail. Sometimes the code we write isn't up to the realities of the system it's implemented on. We push code that does something unexpected and systems break as a result. We can lose track of where we are in our code and make changes that conflict with other changes and causes us to spend the rest of the afternoon undoing those changes. All of these cases it causes discomfort, whether to us, the folks we support, or the folks we work with.
+Sometimes we fail. Sometimes the code we write isn't up to the realities of the system it's implemented on. We push code that does something unexpected and systems break as a result. We can lose track of where we are in our code and make changes that conflict with other changes and causes us to spend the rest of the afternoon undoing those changes. All of these cases cause discomfort, whether to us, the folks we support, or the folks we work with.
I'm not going to lie: failure sucks. It makes us feel like we're less of a person because we failed. We feel inadequate and wonder how others think of us. Do they think less of us? Have we damaged our relationship with those who use whatever we've programmed? Have we let our team down? All of these questions stem from two desires: a desire to do our best and desire to do no harm to others. We want others to think well of us and our skills. Failure runs counter to those desires and amplifies whatever feelings of inadequacy we might have. Those feelings can include wondering if we should be programming at all or wondering if our talents should be used elsewhere. We wonder if we should just give up.
-We don't usually think of failure as part of the learning process. Failure is often seen as the end-point of the journey. In school a failing grade is seen as a condemnation. We don't see it as "I need to practice this some more"; instead we see that we have caused shame and discomfort to ourselves and our loved ones. We do ourselves a grave disservice if we don't realize that failure is a natural part of a process and that it's OK to fail. Not everything we do will be perfect. Mistakes will creep into the best code we write. We will slip up and deploy to the wrong system. Our mistakes will cause discomfort to others. Accepting this gives us the freedom to realize that despite our best efforts we will not be perfect. But rather than seeing that as a limitation we can use this as part of our growth process.
+We don't usually think of failure as part of the learning process. Failure is often seen as the end-point of the journey. In school a failing grade is seen as a condemnation. We don't see it as "I need to practice this some more"; instead we see that we have caused shame and discomfort to ourselves and our loved ones. We do ourselves a grave disservice if we don't realize that failure is a natural part of the learning process and that it's OK to fail. Not everything we do will be perfect. Mistakes will creep into the best code we write. We will slip up and deploy to the wrong system. Our mistakes will cause discomfort to others. Accepting this gives us the freedom to realize that despite our best efforts we will not be perfect. Instead of seeing that as a limitation we can use failure as part of our growth process.
-When we realize we are going to make mistakes we can change our approach in how we make them. I mentioned before about creating models of our environments. What better way to allow us to make mistakes than in an environment where those mistakes can be contained and rolled back? Creating models allows us to practice and test our assumptions in environments that nobody else has to see. It's akin to a practice space for musicians where they can run through their material without the need to perform it right the first time. They can work out the troublesome parts and make mistakes until they are confident in their performance.
+When we realize we are going to make mistakes we can change our approach in how and where we make them. I mentioned before about creating models of our environments. What better way to allow us to make mistakes than in an environment where those mistakes can be contained and rolled back? Creating models allows us to practice and test our assumptions in environments that nobody else has to see. It's akin to a practice space for musicians where they can run through their material without the need to perform it right the first time. They can work out the troublesome parts and make mistakes until they are confident in their performance.
Mistakes are how we learn what works and what doesn't work. They are an integral part of our learning process. We tend to remember the lessons of what didn't work better than the ones that did work. Mistakes help us shore up where we lack knowledge and help us see the gaps that we have.
-Mistakes also act as a reminder to pause for a moment and not get too wound up in the urgency of things. My own mistakes tend to crop up when I'm rushing to meet a deadline (whether real or self-imposed). My worst mistakes happen when I'm tired and rushed, where I'm practically flailing at the keyboard trying to get something (anything!) working. When I allow myself to pause for a moment, reflect on what I'm trying to do, and see the uncertainty in the moment I can take steps to recalibrate and refocus in the moment. I give myself the freedom to course-correct and understand that I'm not doing my best and I need to do something different. It might be something small like giving my brain a bit of rest or something large like revisiting the assumptions I made about what I'm doing. Taking the pause lets me see if I want to continue doing what I'm doing and understand if that's OK.
+Mistakes also act as a reminder to pause for a moment and not get too wound up in the urgency of things. My own mistakes tend to crop up when I'm rushing to meet a deadline (whether real or self-imposed). My worst mistakes happen when I'm tired and rushed, when I'm practically flailing at the keyboard trying to get something (anything!) working. When I allow myself to pause for a moment, reflect on what I'm trying to do, and see the uncertainty in the moment I can take steps to recalibrate and refocus in the moment. I give myself the freedom to course-correct and understand that I'm not doing my best and I need to do something different. It might be something small like giving my brain a bit of rest or something large like revisiting the assumptions I made about what I'm doing. Taking the pause lets me see if I want to continue doing what I'm doing and understand if that's OK.
## Journaling our mistakes
One trick that I use more infrequently than I would like is journaling. Keeping a journal of what happened and how we fixed it is one way to explain to someone else (often ourselves) about what happened. Explaining what happened allows us to become a teacher to ourselves and others. It reinforces our learning process. Writing down what happened in a way that others can understand allows us to arrange the thoughts in our head in a way that is clear and understandable. When we articulate our own thoughts about what happened and codify them we start to understand our own thoughts and can shake loose other ideas about how to fix this and other problems. We give ourselves the pause we need to fully understand what happened and how best to move forward. We become our own sounding-board for ideas on how best to proceed.
-This isn't about keeping a record for posterity so we can look back at a list of failures and beat ourselves up about the past. It's a way to teach ourselves and maximize the learning process. It's about giving ourselves the freedom to be the instructor to our future self so we can be more aware when a mistake is about to happen and understand how to correct for it. This allows us to focus on the moment just long enough to understand what happened, what we did to correct it, and how we can best proceed from here. It also helps us to locate where our gaps are and the next actions that we'll need to take in order to shore up those gaps.
+This isn't about keeping a record for posterity so we can look back at a list of failures and beat ourselves up about the past (if you're anything like me that happens automatically). It's a way to teach ourselves and maximize the learning process. It's about giving ourselves the freedom to be the instructor to our future self so we can be more aware when a mistake is about to happen and understand how to correct for it. This allows us to focus on the moment just long enough to understand what happened, what we did to correct it, and how we can best proceed from here. It also helps us to locate where our gaps are and the next actions that we'll need to take in order to fill in those gaps.
We'll talk more about journaling in later chapters but I fully recommend a journal habit if for no other reason than it gives you a willing apprentice to teach, even if that apprentice is only yourself.
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