+
+! The following Non Kitten Items were added by David Griffith for
+! Release 4
+!
+402: return "Just some glop of some sort.";
+403: return "A bottle of distilled water.";
+404: return "A rusty slinky. It was such a wonderful toy!";
+405: return "Some coconut crabs are milling about here.";
+406: return "Dancing cold water pipes. Mikey must have been here.";
+407: return "Ash is mumbling ~KLAATU BARATA NI<coughcough>~ here.";
+408: return "It's a blob of white goo.";
+
+! The following Non Kitten Items were added by David Griffith from the
+! official list of NKIs.
+!
+409: return "A gravestone stands here. ~Izchak Miller, ascended.~";
+410: return "Someone has written ~ad aerarium~ on the ground here.";
+410: return "A large blue eye floats in midair.";
+411: return "This appears to be a statue of Perseus.";
+412: return "There is an opulent throne here.";
+413: return "It's a squad of Keystone Kops.";
+414: return "This seems to be junk mail addressed to the finder of the Eye of Larn.";
+415: return "A wondrous and intricate golden amulet. Too bad you have no neck.";
+416: return "The swampy ground around you seems to stink with disease.";
+417: return "An animate blob of acid. Being metallic, you keep well away.";
+418: return "It's a copy of Knuth with the chapter on kitten-search algorithms torn out.";
+419: return "A crowd of people, and at the center, a popular misconception.";
+420: return "It's a blind man. When you touch, he exclaims ~It's a kitten prospecting robot!~";
+421: return "It's a lost wallet. It's owner didn't have pets, so you discard it.";
+422: return "This place is called Antarctica. There is no kitten here.";
+423: return "It's a mousetrap, baited with soap.";
+424: return "A book with ~Don't Panic~ in large friendly letters across the cover.";
+425: return "A compendium of haiku about metals.";
+426: return "A discredited cosmology, relic of a bygone era.";
+427: return "A hollow voice says ~Plugh~.";
+428: return "A knight who says ~Either I am an insane knave, or you will find kitten.~";
+429: return "A neural net -- maybe it's trying to recognize kitten.";
+430: return "A screwdriver.";
+431: return "A statue of a girl holding a goose like the one in Gottingen, Germany.";
+432: return "A tetradrachm dated ~42 B.C.~";
+433: return "A voice booms out ~Onward, kitten soldiers...~";
+434: return "An eminently forgettable zahir.";
+435: return "Apparently, it's Edmund Burke.";
+436: return "For a moment, you feel something in your hands, but it disappears!";
+437: return "Here is a book about Robert Kennedy.";
+438: return "Hey, robot, leave those lists alone.";
+439: return "Ho hum. Another synthetic a posteriori.";
+440: return "It's Asimov's Laws of Robotics. You feel a strange affinity for them.";
+441: return "It's Bach's Mass in B-minor!";
+442: return "It's a bug.";
+443: return "It's a synthetic a priori truth! Immanuel would be so pleased!";
+444: return "It's the Tiki Room.";
+445: return "Just some old play by a Czech playwright, and you can't read Czech.";
+446: return "Kitten is the letter 'Q'. Oh, wait, maybe not.";
+447: return "Quidquid Latine dictum sit, kitten non est.";
+448: return "Sutro Tower is visible at some distance through the fog.";
+449: return "The Digital Millennium Copyright Act of 1998.";
+450: return "The United States Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit.";
+451: return "The non-kitten item like this but with ~false~ and ~true~ switched is true.";
+452: return "This is the chapter called ~A Map of the Cat?~ from Feynman's autobiography.";
+453: return "This is the forest primeval.";
+454: return "Werner's ~Pocket Field Guide to Things That Are Not Kitten~.";
+455: return "You found nettik, but that's backwards.";
+456: return "You have found some zinc, but you must not stop here, for you must find kitten.";
+457: return "~50 Years Among the Non-Kitten Items~, by Ann Droyd.";
+458: return "~Robot may not injure kitten, or, through inaction, ...~";
+459: return "~Address Allocation for Private Internets~ by Yakov Rekhter et al.";
+460: return "~Mail Routing and the Domain System~ by Craig Partridge.";
+461: return "~The Theory and Practice of Oligarchical Collectivism~ by Emmanuel Goldstein.";
+462: return "~201 Kitten Verbs, Fully Conjugated~. You look for ~find~.";
+463: return "A card shark sits here, practicing his Faro shuffle. He ignores you.";
+463: return "A copy of DeCSS. They're a dime a dozen these days.";
+464: return "A demonic voice proclaims ~There is no kitten, only Zuul~. You flee.";
+465: return "A lotus. You make an interesting pair.";
+466: return "A milk carton, with a black and white picture of kitten on the side.";
+467: return "Any ordinary robot could see from a mile away that this wasn't kitten.";
+468: return "A stegosaurus, escaped from the stegosaurusfindsrobot game. It finds you.";
+469: return "Baling wire and chewing gum.";
+470: return "Chewing gum and baling wire.";
+471: return "Here is no kitten but only rock, rock and no kitten and the sandy road.";
+472: return "Hey, I bet you thought this was kitten.";
+473: return "It is an ancient mariner, and he stoppeth one of three.";
+474: return "It pleases you to be kind to what appears to be kitten -- but it's not!";
+475: return "It's a blatant plug for Ogg Vorbis, http://www.vorbis.com/";
+476: return "It's a business plan for a new startup, kitten.net.";
+477: return "It's a revised business plan for a new startup, my.kitten.net.";
+478: return "It's a square.";
+479: return "It seems to be a copy of ~A Tail of Two Kitties~.";
+480: return "It's the Donation of Constantine!";
+481: return "It's this message, nothing more.";
+482: return "Lysine, an essential amino acid. Well, maybe not for robots.";
+483: return "No kitten here.";
+484: return "The score for a Czech composer's ~Kitten-Finding Symphony in C~.";
+485: return "This looks like Bradley's ~Appearance and Reality~, but it's really not.";
+486: return "This non-kitten item no verb.";
+487: return "You feel strangely unfulfilled.";
+488: return "You hit the non-kitten item. The non-kitten item fails to yowl.";
+489: return "You suddenly yearn for your distant homeland.";
+490: return "You've found the snows of yesteryear! So that's where they all went to.";
+491: return "Approaching. One car. J. Followed by. Two car. M, M. In five. Minutes.";
+491: return "Free Jon Johansen!";
+492: return "Free Dmitry Sklyarov!";
+493: return "One person shouts ~What do we want?~ The crowd answers ~Free Dmitry!~";
+494: return "Judith Platt insults librarians.";
+495: return "This map is not the territory.";
+496: return "~Go back to Libraria!~, says Pat Schroeder.";
+497: return "This is a porcelain kitten-counter. 0, 0, 0, 0, 0...";
+498: return "An old bootable business card, unfortunately cracked down the middle.";
+499: return "A kitten sink, for washing kitten (if only kitten liked water).";
+500: return "A kitten source (to match the kitten sink).";
+501: return "If it's one thing, it's not another.";
+502: return "If it's not one thing, it's another.";
+503: return "A caboodle.";
+504: return "A grin.";
+505: return "A hedgehog. It looks like it knows something important.";
+506: return "You've found... Oh wait, that's just a cat.";
+507: return "Robot should not be touching that.";
+508: return "Air Guitar!!! NA na NA na!!";
+509: return "An aromatherapy candle burns with healing light.";
+510: return "You find a bright shiny penny.";
+511: return "It's a free Jon Johansen!";
+512: return "It's a free Dmitry Sklyarov!";
+513: return "The rothe hits! The rothe hits!";
+514: return "It's an Internet chain letter about sodium laureth sulfate.";
+515: return "Ed Witten sits here, pondering string theory.";
+516: return "Something is written here in the dust. You read: ~rJbotfndQkttten~.";
+517: return "We wish you a merry kitten, and a happy New Year!";
+518: return "Run away! Run away!";
+519: return "You can see right through this copy of Brin's ~Transparent Society~.";
+520: return "This copy of ~Steal This Book~ has been stolen from a bookstore.";
+521: return "It's Roya Naini.";
+522: return "This kit is the fourteenth in a series of kits named with Roman letters.";
+523: return "This is the tenth key you've found so far.";
+524: return "You find a fraud scheme in which loans are used as security for other loans.";
+525: return "It's the phrase ~and her~, written in ancient Greek.";
+526: return "It's the author of ~Randomness and Mathematical Proof~.";
+527: return "It's the crusty exoskeleton of an arthropod!";
+528: return "It's Emporer Shaddam the 4th's planet!";
+529: return "It's the triangle leg adjacent to an angle divided by the leg opposite it.";
+530: return "It's a bottle of nail polish remover.";
+531: return "You found netkit! Way to go, robot!";
+532: return "It's the ASCII Floating Head of Seth David Schoen!";
+533: return "A frosted pink party-cake, half eaten.";
+534: return "A bitchin' homemade tesla coil.";
+535: return "Conan O'Brian, sans jawbone.";
+536: return "It's either a mirror, or another soulless kitten-seeking robot.";
+537: return "Preoccupation with finding kitten prevents you from investigating further.";
+538: return "Fonzie sits here, mumbling incoherently about a shark and a pair of waterskis.";
+539: return "The ghost of your dance instructor, his face a paper-white mask of evil.";
+540: return "A bag of groceries taken off the shelf before the expiration date.";
+541: return "A book: Feng Shui, Zen: the art of randomly arranging items that are not kitten.";
+542: return "This might be the fountain of youth, but you'll never know.";
+543: return "Tigerbot Hesh.";
+544: return "Stimutacs.";
+545: return "A canister of pressurized whipped cream, sans whipped cream.";
+546: return "The non-kitten item bites!";
+547: return "A chain hanging from two posts reminds you of the Gateway Arch.";
+548: return "A mathematician calculates the halting probability of a Turing machine.";
+549: return "A number of short theatrical productions are indexed 1, 2, 3, ... n.";
+550: return "A technical university in Australia.";
+551: return "It is -- I just feel something wonderful is about to happen.";
+552: return "It's a Cat 5 cable.";
+553: return "It's a U.S. president.";
+554: return "It's a piece of cloth used to cover a stage in between performances.";
+555: return "The ionosphere seems charged with meaning.";
+556: return "This tomography is like, hella axial, man!";
+557: return "It's your favorite game -- robotfindscatan!";
+558: return "Just a man selling an albatross.";
+559: return "The intermission from a 1930s silent movie.";
+560: return "It's an inverted billiard ball!";
+561: return "The spectre of Sherlock Holmes wills you onwards.";
+
+default: return "Unknown NKI";