The more we do this practice the better we'll become at recognizing our emotions and why we're having them. We'll be better able to see what we're feeling and understand why we're feeling them. When we feel anxious we can recognize that we might be in an area of development where we don't fully know what we're doing. We can then feel the anxiety for a bit (don't try to chase it away just yet) and then think about what we're currently working on and the areas that might be new to us. We can then mentally note them, or (better still) write them down or journal them so when we complete what we're doing we can review the areas that caused us anxiety.
-### FIXME
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-With this practice we can turn our emotions from something that drives us into something that guides us. We can use our emotions as a tool to better calibrate our internal stories. We can stop telling ourselves stories that we're going to be amazing programmers who generate enormous amounts of production-ready, bug-free, readable code (which is not only fiction, but borders on the realms of legend and myth). We can instead say that we're going to spend the next 10 minutes exploring this area of our work and see where the gaps are in there. As we explore our emotions and anxiety can let us know where we feel we need to improve and adapt. We can then change our plans as needed to address those areas we feel are lacking or need improvement.
+With this practice we can turn our emotions from something that drives us into something that guides us. We can use our emotions as a tool to better calibrate our internal stories. We can stop telling ourselves stories that we're going to be amazing programmers who generate enormous amounts of production-ready, bug-free, readable code (which is not only fiction, but borders on the realms of legend and myth). We can instead tell ourselves that we're going to spend the next 10 minutes exploring this area of our work and see where the gaps are. We can be curious about where this next 10 minutes will lead us. As we continue to explore we can notice our emotions and anxiety. We can then use our emotions and anxiety to let us know where we feel we need to improve and adapt. This will allow us to change our plans as needed and address those areas we feel are lacking or need improvement. This cycle continues with each practice container, with our emotions acting as a barometer for our comfort level with this topic, and a road-map for how best to proceed. We turn our discomfort and anxiety into indicators of where we feel we need to focus our attention.
## Burnout
-One thing that our emotional triage can help us diagnose is feeling burned out. Burnout is a collection of emotions coupled with emotional and physical exhaustion.
-
-Burnout can manifest itself in different ways. For some it may be the feeling of dread for working on a project. They feel like they are ineffectual in making any changes. For others burnout can be feelings of exhaustion. They feel as though they're on a treadmill that just will not stop and they wanted to stop a long time ago. Burnout can also manifest in feeling creatively drained, where imagining a different future is difficult and nothing that you do is interesting.
+One thing that our emotional triage can help us diagnose is feeling burned out. Burnout is a collection of emotions coupled with emotional and physical exhaustion. Burnout can be something as simple as being bored or overworked but it can also be the sign of something more serious. Burnout can lead to physical or mental complications if we're not careful. We can work ourselves into serious levels of exhaustion and delude ourselves into thinking it's part of the price we have to pay as programmers.
-Burnout can be something as simple as boredom or being overworked but it can also be the sign of something more serious. Burnout can lead to physical complications if we're not careful. We can work ourselves to exhaustion and think that's just part of the price we have to pay as programmers.
+Burnout manifests itself in different ways. For some it may be the feeling of dread while working on a project. They feel like they are ineffectual in making any changes. For others burnout can be feeling exhausted. They feel as though they're on a treadmill that just will not stop. Worse, they wanted that treadmill to stop a long time ago. Burnout can also manifest in feeling creatively drained, where imagining a different future is difficult and things you used to find inspiring or interesting no longer generate that spark.
-Burnout is tricky to self-diagnose because it is a collection of seemingly unrelated emotions. Our feelings of boredom, fear, exhaustion, and anxiety can all have different root causes, but when we couple them together with unrelenting working schedules we amplify them. Left unchecked and unexamined we can lead ourselves into places where we don't want to program anymore. We can cause ourselves more undue suffering by just "powering through it" which can lead us to compound our emotional state.
+Burnout is tricky to self-diagnose because it is a collection of seemingly unrelated emotions. Our feelings of boredom, fear, exhaustion, and anxiety can all have different root causes, but when we combine them with an unrelenting working schedule and loss of control we amplify those feelings. Left unchecked we can lead ourselves into trying to numb out those feelings. We find ourselves not wanting to program anymore, and resent ourselves for ever getting into programming in the first place. We can cause ourselves more undue suffering by just "powering through it" which can lead us to compound and complicate our emotional state.
There are some things we can do to understand and help alleviate burnout:
-1. Realize that we're burned out, or about to burn out. Acknowledging that we're about to burn out is key to not experiencing the burnout. That seems simple enough but we tend to realize it when we're in it. If we can recognize that we're about to burn out then we can take measures to avoid it. And if we realize that we've burned out we can take measures to be kind to ourselves and help ourselves out of this burned-out state.
+1. Realize that we're burned out, or about to burn out. Acknowledging that we're about to burn out is key to not experiencing the burnout. That seems simple enough but we tend to ignore the symptoms when we're nearing the throes of burnout. If we can recognize that we're about to burn out then we can take measures to avoid it. And if we realize that we're burned out we can take measures to be kind to ourselves and help ourselves out of this burned-out state.
1. Examine our emotions. Sit for a while and see what emotions come into view. Are we feeling stress, fear, anxiety, nervousness, or anger? See what feelings emerge and recognize these feelings. Examine where these feelings are coming from and what might be triggering these emotions.
-1. Re-negotiate our commitments. Many times burnout is the result of overcommitment, whether to others or ourselves. We have too much to do and despite our best efforts we can't meet the obligations. Perhaps they were too aggressive, or something caused the world to change when the plan was made. Whatever the reason we may need to re-evaluate what is expected of us and what we are capable of doing. And if we see that we've created an intractable situation for ourselves then we need to figure out how to cut away some of these obligations.
-1. Give our drive a rest. Unlike our mechanical counterparts we need downtime and rest. We can't work a straight 8 hours without at least some moments where we aren't working. Programming demands a lot of mental bandwidth and pushing ourselves to exhaustion can lead to emotional instability, stress, and burnout.
-1. Examine if this is truly how we want to live our lives. We need to be aware if what we're doing is really what we want to be doing. If we're not happy doing this then every moment we do this can compound our feelings of unhappiness. If we look deep in ourselves and feel nothing but dread for our current situation then we may need to renegotiate our commitments. That can be something as simple as agreeing not to learn something right now, or can be as complex as taking on different work or changing careers.
+1. Re-negotiate our commitments. Many times burnout is the result of over commitment, whether to ourselves or others. We always have too much to do and despite our best efforts we always meet all of our obligations. Perhaps the plans we made were too aggressive, or something changed in the world that disrupted our plans. Whatever the reasons we may need to re-evaluate what is expected of us and what we are capable of doing. If we see that we've created an intractable situation for ourselves we need to figure out how to cut away some of these obligations or re-negotiate them.
+1. Give our "drive" a rest. Unlike our mechanical counterparts we need downtime and rest. We can't work a straight 8 or more hours without at least some moments where we aren't working. Programming demands a lot of mental bandwidth and pushing ourselves to exhaustion can lead to emotional instability, stress, and burnout.
+1. Examine if this is truly how we want to live our lives. We need to be aware if what we're doing is really what we want to be doing. If we're not happy doing this then every moment we continue doing this can compound our feelings of unhappiness. If we look deep in ourselves and feel nothing but dread in our current situation then we may need to renegotiate our commitments. That can be something as simple as agreeing not to learn something right now, or can be as complex as taking on different work or changing careers.
By understanding that we're headed toward burnout (or are burned-out already) we can take measures to course-correct so we can approach our programming practice with joy and enthusiasm. Sometimes taking a step back and re-evaluating what we're doing can help us not sit in the constant loops of frustration, anger, and guilt. Changing our story to better fit reality can keep us from trying to match an impossible dream.
-You will experience burnout in your programming career. Things will come at you that will overwhelm your ability to cope with them. You will find yourself stuck in loops wondering if this is really what you should be doing. Understanding what you're feeling and acknowledging your feelings as valid is the first step to changing the course from one of burnout and stress. Programming shouldn't be drudgery (no work should be drudgery). There should be something in your programming day that keeps you motivated, and helps you grow your skills. Adding bits of learning, joy and wonder (along with periods of downtime) will help sustain you through the emotional turbulence that awaits.
+I mentioned above about re-negotiating commitments. Often we'll get ourselves into situations where we have way more to do than is physically possible, even under the best of circumstances. This may be in part because we've said "yes" to too many things, or may be because we're being swamped with outside work commitments (a large high priority project, or several smaller projects that need urgent attention). The best way to renegotiate your work load is to review your work load and notice which ones feel more urgent and which ones feel important. Note which ones fall into those two categories. Next mark the due date (as best you can) of each of these tasks. If you have more than three urgent and important items and they're due later this week then it's likely you're being overworked and will want to renegotiate those commitments. You may think that you should be able to do all of these things but if you're already feeling stressed, tired, and burned out then you'll only compound those feeling by trying to meet these deadlines. If you can see if you can move some of these deadlines to next week, or check with your customers if these are really as urgent and important as you think they are. If they are then see if your management can assist you with other resources, or intervene to renegotiate these deadlines and priorities. If you're truly stuck (management won't budge and the customers are firm with this commitment) then you have some decisions to make about how important their priorities are versus your own capabilities. There's the temptation to say that your management and your customer's priorities are more important but your own health and well-being should have more weight in your decision than their priorities and deadlines. Perhaps you can negotiate some down-time after this period so you can rest, relax, and regain your strength and mental acuity before being plunged into a similar situation.
+
+It's also cliche to say "learn to say no", but this is an important skill as a programmer. Too often we think of ourselves as super-beings that can do anything because the computer can do anything. But we have finite physical and emotional resources, so learning to pick and choose the projects that are most important to us (depending on our own internal criteria) will help sustain us as we progress in our programming career. If we say "yes" to everything that is pitched to us then we'll have less time to work on the things that really matter to us. We'll be at the whims of external folks whose priorities and desires may not match our own. The most effective way to burn-out on programming is to spend all of your energy working on projects that don't match your own desires and priorities.
+
+You will experience periods of burnout in your programming career. Things will come at you that will overwhelm your ability to cope with them. You will find yourself stuck in loops wondering if this is really what you should be doing. Understanding what you're feeling and acknowledging your feelings as valid is the first step to changing the course from one of burnout and stress. Programming shouldn't be drudgery (no work should be drudgery). There should be something in your programming day that keeps you motivated, and helps you grow your skills. Adding bits of learning, joy, and wonder (along with periods of downtime) will help sustain you through the emotional turbulence that awaits. And recognizing when you're burning out and renegotiating your agreements with yourself and others can help reinvigorate your desires to keep programming.
## Giving up
-Programmers don't like to think about giving up. We work on machines that have so many possibilities that we feel we should be able to make things work. But sometimes we can't see those possibilities. Sometimes we look at the list of things we should be learning and wonder if it's all worth it. We look at lists of job prospects and see nothing but meaningless work. Students ask us what it's like to be a programmer and we wonder if it's OK to crush their dreams this early in their careers. The joy that sustained us into learning the craft disappears and we're left wondering if we will ever cultivate that feeling again.
+Programmers don't like to think about giving up. We work on machines that have so many possibilities that we feel we should be able to make anything work on them. But sometimes we don't want to see those possibilities. Sometimes we look at the list of things we should be learning and wonder if it's all worth the effort. We look at lists of job prospects for our set of skills and see that the only fit for those skills is nothing but work that we find meaningless. People learning to program ask us what it's like to be a programmer and we wonder if it's OK to tell them that we're not happy with our decision and crush their dreams this early in their careers. The joy that sustained us into learning the craft disappears and we're left wondering if we will ever cultivate that feeling again.
-Programming isn't for everyone. There are times when I've wondered if I should be working as a programmer. I feel as though I can't learn everything that I need to know, and wonder if what I'm learning will not matter because in 10 seconds everything out there will have completely changed. I struggle looking at job positions that seem like they won't matter in 3 years, let alone 100. I feel like the computing future I was promised never happened and we're stuck in a world where computers are little more than levers for companies to pry open the wallets of their customers.
+Programming isn't for everyone. There are times when I've wondered if I should be working as a programmer. I feel as though I can't learn everything that I need to know, and wonder if what I'm learning will still be relevant by the time I'm finished. Will I be able to compete in a job market where I feel like everyone has a head start? I struggle looking at job positions that offer work that I don't think will matter six months from now, let alone 10 to 100 years from now. I feel like the computing future I was promised was corrupted and we're stuck in a world where computers are little more than levers for companies to pry open the wallets of their customers.
-It's easy to become fatalistic about the practice of programming but I've realized that there's more to computing and programming than what I see in the job market.
+It's easy to become fatalistic about the practice of programming but I've realized that there's more to computing and programming than what the job market has to offer.
-Part of the joy of programming is the curiosity. If we can continually tap into that curiosity then we have so many avenues to explore. From game programming to some of the more esoteric languages there are always topics and ideas to discover. What the job market uses is but a fraction of what is out there. There's also a whole host of emulators and retro-computers available with good documentation. One of the things that I'm curious about is how older computers work. But there are also newer, lower-powered machines out there in the embedded space that are fascinating to look at and understand.
+Part of the joy of programming is the curiosity. If we can continually tap into that curiosity then we have so many avenues to explore. There are always topics and ideas to discover, including areas like game development, esoteric languages, or other programming paradigms. What the job market uses is but a fraction of what is out there waiting to be explored. There's also a whole host of emulators and retro-computers available with good documentation and vibrant communities. One of the things that has intrigued me is learning how older computers work. Older computers are simple and can learned rather easily with the right mindset. They are well-understood and older programs were generally put together by one programmer.
-But there can also be the realization that there's no joy left in programming. The thought of programming no longer excites us and even the thought of trying something new fills us with dread. We no longer want to even try. What then?
+But there can also be the realization that there's no joy left for us in programming. The thought of programming no longer excites us and even the thought of trying something new fills us with dread. We no longer want to even try. What then?
-If we no longer find joy in programming then we need to understand why we feel that way. Perhaps we're tired and have been through a project that drained all of the fun and excitement of programming. Or we found that the communities in our area and online are hostile and unwelcoming. Maybe we thought programming would be fun but every time we start we wish we were doing something / anything else instead.
+If we no longer find joy in programming then we need to understand why we feel that way. Perhaps we're tired and have been through a project that sapped the fun and excitement of programming for us. Or we've found that the communities online and in our area are hostile and unwelcoming. Maybe we thought programming would be fun but every time we start we wish we were doing something / anything else instead.
-Programming is not for everyone. I strongly feel that programming is something that is best when you really want to do it. But if you're stuck in a situation where you don't want to do this anymore then it's perfectly reasonable to step away from it and give up. There's no shame in this at all - many programmers have decided they lost the spark and the desire and have gone into other fields. Stepping away from the computer is perfectly fine.
+Programming is not for everyone. Programming is something that is best when you really want to do it. If you're stuck in a situation where you don't want to do this anymore then it's perfectly reasonable to step away from it and give up. There's no shame in this at all --- many programmers have felt they lost the spark and the desire to keep programming and have gone into other fields. It's OK to leave the work of programming computers and do something else.
-It's OK to walk away from programming and do something else. Programming is only one facet of our lives. True, it may be a big facet, and it may feel scary to give up something that we've worked so hard to accomplish. But if we examine our feelings and realize that we're just going through the motions, or see that we're no longer finding any joy in programming then it's time to think about what else we can be doing with our lives. We're granted a limited amount of time to live our lives and doing something we don't enjoy robs us of a meaningful life.
+Programming is only one facet of our lives. True, it may be a big facet of our lives, and it may feel scary to give up something that we've worked so hard to accomplish. But if we examine our feelings and realize that we're just going through the motions, or find that we're no longer experiencing any joy in programming then it's time to think about what else we can be doing with our lives outside of programming. We're granted a limited amount of time to live our lives and doing something we don't enjoy robs us of a meaningful life.
Giving up doesn't have to be a negative experience. Taking time away from being a programmer is perfectly fine and is not a mark of shame. Plenty of programmers have taken a "sabbatical" from programming to allow themselves to explore other interests and recharge themselves. Breaking the loop of negative experiences in programming can help us clearly see what we want out of programming and a programming career. It can help confirm our innermost feelings about programming and see if it's right for us to pursue any further.
-There are several fears that can keep us from making this break with programming. The first fear goes by the fancy name of the "sunk cost fallacy". This fallacy is the belief that we have invested too much time and effort that will be wasted if we quit. I would argue that learning any sort of programming is not a wasted skill and can be applied to many facets of our lives, such as simplifying tasks into manageable steps, and basic Boolean logic.
+There are several fears that can keep us from making this break with programming. The first fear goes by the fancy name of the "sunk cost fallacy". The sunk cost fallacy is the belief that we have invested so much time and effort into learning and development that will be wasted if we quit. I would argue that learning any sort of programming is not a wasted skill and can be applied to many facets of our lives, such as simplifying tasks into manageable steps, structured thinking, and basic Boolean logic. Other fields have also adopted computers so having some skill with computers and how they work can be helpful for yourself or other colleagues who are struggling to learn the technology.
-The second fear is that if we stop programming that we are letting down our fellow programmers in some way. This one is tricky because we might be on a team where we have a large load of tasks to complete and our decision to quit may mean these tasks won't get done the way we wanted them to get done. Or we may fear that our absence will cause harm to the enterprise and its eventual collapse. This fear requires us to choose between which is more important: our well-being or the well-being of others. It also requires us to explore whether those fears are true or whether they are groundless. Are we really that irreplaceable or can someone take our place? Sometimes the answer may be "no, but I need to do this for me or I will cause harm to both of us if this continues". Thinking in terms of the well-being of both you and the organizations you belong to in longer-term prospect may help you make this decision.
+The second fear is that if we stop programming then we are letting down our fellow programmers in some way. This one is tricky because we might be on a team where we have a large load of tasks to complete and our decision to quit may mean these tasks won't get done the way we wanted them to get done. Or we may fear that our absence will cause harm to the enterprise and its eventual collapse. This fear requires us to choose between which is more important: our well-being or the well-being of others. It also requires us to explore whether those fears are true or whether they are groundless. Are we really that irreplaceable or could someone take our place? The answer might be "no, but I need to leave this situation or I will cause harm to both of us if this continues". Thinking in terms of the well-being of both yourself and the organizations you belong to from a longer-term perspective may help you make this decision.
-The third fear deals with our own personal fears of identity and the memory of our community. If we decide to stop being a programmer will that somehow erase a part of our identity. Will our community stop identifying us as a programmer and will we lose contact with folks that have become friends, colleagues, and such. Again, this is tricky to overcome because programming may be a large part of the identity you crafted for yourself. Letting go of that can lead to you feeling less like yourself. And the fear that folks will stop calling you for programming projects can be compounded if you feel that you might just need a break from programming and may wish to return.
+The third fear deals with our own personal fears of identity and the memory of our community. If we decide to stop being a programmer will that somehow erase a part of our identity? Will our community stop identifying us as a programmer and will we lose contact with folks that have become friends, colleagues, and such? Again, this fear is tricky to overcome because programming may be a large part of the identity you have crafted for yourself. Letting go of that can lead to feeling less like yourself. And the fear that folks will stop calling you for programming projects can be compounded if you decide to take a break from programming (especially if this break is temporary).
-Each of these fears is a valid fear, but they may not be the truth. We can't control how others perceive us or how organizations move on without us. What we can control is our participation in each of these communities. We can determine if a hard break from programming would be better than gradually easing ourselves out of our commitments. We can clarify to others what our current standing is and if this is something that is permanent or temporary. But what is most important is that we don't let others persuade us into doing something that is harmful to us. If we need to stop programming because we are emotionally drained and burned out then we need to make it clear to others that we will be doing them a disservice if we continue.
+Each of these fears is a valid fear, but they may not be the truth. We can't control how others perceive us or how organizations move on without us. What we can control is our participation in each of these communities. We can determine if a hard break from programming would be better than gradually easing ourselves out of our commitments. We can clarify to others what our current status is and if this is something that is permanent or temporary. But what is most important is that we don't let others persuade us into doing something that is not what we want or is harmful to us. If we need to stop programming because we are emotionally drained and burned out then we need to make it clear to others that we will be doing as disservice to them and ourselves if we continue.
-Mature communities will understand the need to stop programming and walk away. They will understand that your mental and emotional well-being is more important for you than their needs to continue. And they will be able to piece together what needs to be done and heal from your absence. It is natural and normal for folks to move on from organizations and pursue other priorities.
+Mature communities will understand the need to take a break and stop programming. They will understand that your mental and emotional well-being is more important for you than their need for you to continue. And they will be able to piece together what needs to be done and heal from your absence. It is natural and normal for folks to move on from organizations and pursue other priorities.
-What's important to remember is that it's OK not to be a programmer and to turn off that portion of your being. Whether or not that is a permanent change is up to you and your desires. Programming is hard enough. Feeling emotionally drained, uninspired, and burned out is counterproductive to your programming exercise. Taking a break from programming to explore other interests is natural and doesn't mean you're less of a programmer for wanting to recharge yourself. And should you realize that you are happiest when you're not programming then we can appreciate the time that you were a programmer and promise to meet again someday should you return.
+What's important to remember is that it's OK to turn off that portion of your being and stop being a programmer. Whether or not you make that a permanent change is up to you and your desires. Feeling emotionally drained, uninspired, and burned out is counterproductive to your programming practice --- programming is hard enough. Taking a break from programming to explore other interests is natural and doesn't mean you're less of a programmer for wanting to do something different to recharge yourself. If you find that you're happiest when you're not programming then pursue whatever else has your attention with wild abandon. If you decide to return to programming after being away for a bit then you can return and pick up your learning practice. Remember: our lives take many different turns and paths. The best path for you is the one you make yourself, regardless of where that might lead.
projects / themediocreprogrammer.git / blobdiff