From 08590ba2ccbf710c90201ca02adbae1f72eb56dd Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Craig Maloney Date: Sat, 23 Feb 2019 21:24:17 -0500 Subject: [PATCH] Additional editing / updates to asking for help --- chapter07.md | 9 +++------ 1 file changed, 3 insertions(+), 6 deletions(-) diff --git a/chapter07.md b/chapter07.md index ff22cb6..ae77836 100644 --- a/chapter07.md +++ b/chapter07.md @@ -114,15 +114,12 @@ You will experience periods of burnout in your programming career. Things will c ## Reaching out for help -### FIXME - -One of the most challenging aspects of programming that I've seen is in reaching out and asking others for help. We tend to avoid it because we don't want to seem foolish or less of a capable programmer. We might have had instances where we've asked for help only to be told that we didn't do enough research into the issue we're having. It's difficult for us to admit that we need to rely on others for support. Often there's the feeling that asking questions or asking for help is a sign of weakness. If we can't do everything on our own then perhaps we're unworthy of being considered a programmer. We discount our knowledge and label ourselves a fraud for needing external support. +I want to take a moment to highlight that it's OK to ask others for help. I know from my own experience that I have struggled with asking for help. Part of this reluctance was instilled in me whenever I asked a question and got the dreaded "you should know that already" response. Other times I felt that if I asked for help it might diminish my reputation somehow. I'd be exposed as not being as good as people thought I was. Folks would wonder why they trusted me in the first place. But when I asked for help the question I received wasn't "why don't you know this?", rather it was "why didn't you ask for help sooner?". Sure, there were occasions where I would receive criticism for not knowing something, but I've found that the benefits of asking the question outweighed the negative effects I might face. -There's also the fear that we'll become a burden if we ask for help when we struggle. These feelings can be magnified if we've had issues with learning, or are suffering from PTSD, chronic fatigue, or any number of physical, mental, or emotional constraints. There's the tendency to want to do more for ourselves, even if that is unlikely to work for us. +The reluctance to ask for help can be magnified if we have physical, mental, or emotional constraints that are interfering with our performance. Often there can be an emotional drain in just formulating that we need help, let alone actually asking someone for help. In these cases it can be helpful to ask a professional for help. This is especially true if we are facing burnout other issues that are interfering with our ability to focus or perform our work. -I know from my own experience that I struggle with asking for help. Part of this was instilled in me whenever I would ask a question and get the dreaded "you should know that already" response. Other times I felt like if I asked for help it would somehow diminish my reputation. Folks would know that I wasn't the programmer they thought I was. They'd wonder why they hired or trusted me in the first place. But when I finally did ask for help the question I received wasn't "why don't you know this?", it was "why didn't you ask for help sooner?". Sure, there were the occasions where I would receive criticism for not knowing something, but in my own experience asking for help gave me more positive benefits that outweighed any real or perceived criticism of my abilities. +### FIXME -This is especially true if we have physical, mental, or emotional constraints that are interfering with our performance. It can be difficult to unpack what it is that you need help with, or admit to others that you are struggling and need additional help. ... ## Giving up -- 2.31.1