From: Craig Maloney Date: Thu, 19 Sep 2019 13:49:48 +0000 (-0400) Subject: More on the fear of quitting X-Git-Tag: 20200112^2~28 X-Git-Url: https://jxself.org/git/?a=commitdiff_plain;h=91ae31af8e9ed9a343a0c812c8e55fda48516260;p=themediocreprogrammer.git More on the fear of quitting --- diff --git a/chapter07.md b/chapter07.md index a08d234..9bffabc 100644 --- a/chapter07.md +++ b/chapter07.md @@ -148,13 +148,13 @@ Programming is only one facet of our lives. True, it may be a big facet of our l Giving up should not be a negative experience. There is no shame in taking time away from being a programmer. Plenty of programmers have given themselves a "sabbatical" from programming to explore other interests and recharge themselves. Breaking loops of negative experiences in programming can help us identify what we want out of programming and a programming career. It can help us find and confirm our innermost feelings about programming and see if we're still meant to keep pursuing this path. -### FIXME +There are several fears that can keep us from making this break with programming. The first fear goes by the fancy name of the "sunk cost fallacy". The sunk cost fallacy is the belief that the time and effort we spent learning and programming is an investment, and that investment will be wasted if we quit. Thus, in order to preserve our investment we must keep programming. The problem with this fallacy is that it assumes you have not already received the benefit from that time and effort. I'd argue that learning any sort of programming is not a wasted skill. Programming can be applied to many facets of our lives, such as simplifying tasks into manageable steps, applying structured thinking, and understanding basic Boolean logic. Many other fields have also adopted computers so having computer skills can be helpful for yourself or other colleagues who are struggling to learn the technology. The knowledge you have will not go to waste. -There are several fears that can keep us from making this break with programming. The first fear goes by the fancy name of the "sunk cost fallacy". The sunk cost fallacy is the belief that the time and effort we spent learning and developing is an investment, and that investment will be wasted if we quit. Thus, in order to preserve our investment we must keep programming. The problem with this fallacy is that it assumes you have not already received the benefit from that time and effort. I'd argue that learning any sort of programming is not a wasted skill. Programming can be applied to many facets of our lives, such as simplifying tasks into manageable steps, structured thinking, and basic Boolean logic. Many other fields have also adopted computers so having computer skills can be helpful for yourself or other colleagues who are struggling to learn the technology. The knowledge you have will not go to waste. +The second fear is the fear that we'll somehow let down our fellow programmers and others in our organization if we stop programming. This one is tricky. It's tricky because it includes others in our decision-making process. We might be in an organization that has a substantial load of tasks to complete, and our decision to quit will mean these tasks won't be completed the way we wish them to be completed. It's not hard to imagine our absence causing harm to the entire organization and resulting in its eventual collapse. Is this scenario true? It's up to us to tease out whether our absence will truly let everyone in our organization down. This puts us in a situation where our fear leaves us feeling stuck. We feel stuck because our fear has created a situation where we're choosing between our own well being or the well being of others. This is a false dichotomy. Our absence might be the catalyst for someone else to pick up our tasks and work on them, and possibly complete them more effectively than we can in our current state. We need to ask ourselves if we are truly irreplaceable for this organization or could someone else take our place? The answer might be "I am irreplaceable, but I need to leave this situation or I will cause harm to both myself and others if this continues". It's up to us to review if we are helping ourselves and the organizations we serve, or if we are harming them and ourselves by deluding ourselves that this is working. -The second fear is the fear that we'll let down our fellow programmers and others in our organization if we stop programming. This one is tricky. It's tricky because it includes others in our decision-making process. We might be in an organization that has a large load of tasks to complete, and our decision to quit will mean these tasks won't get done the way we wanted them to get done. It's not hard to imagine our absence causing harm to the entire organization and resulting in its eventual collapse. Is this scenario true? It's up to us to tease out whether our absence will truly let everyone in our organization down. This puts us in a situation where our fear leaves us feeling stuck. We feel stuck because our fear has created a situation where we're choosing between our own well being or the well being of others. But this can be a false dichotomy. Our absence might be the catalyst for someone else to pick up our tasks and work on them. We need to ask ourselves if we are really irreplaceable for this organization or could someone take our place? The answer might be "I am irreplaceable, but I need to leave this situation or I will cause harm to both myself and others if this continues". It's up to us to review if we are helping ourselves and the organizations we serve, or if we are harming them and ourselves by continuing to delude ourselves that this is working. +The third fear deals with our own personal fears of identity and the memory of our community. If we decide to stop being a programmer will that somehow erase a part of our identity? Will our community stop identifying us as a programmer and will we lose contact with folks that have become friends and colleagues? Again, this fear is tricky to overcome because programming may be a large part of the identity you have crafted for yourself. Letting go of programming can lead to feeling like you're stripping away a piece of yourself and your identity. There's also the fear that folks will stop calling you for jobs or other programming projects if you decide to take a temporary break from programming. If the break is temporary will people remember your programming skills when you decide to return? -The third fear deals with our own personal fears of identity and the memory of our community. If we decide to stop being a programmer will that somehow erase a part of our identity? Will our community stop identifying us as a programmer and will we lose contact with folks that have become friends, colleagues, and such? Again, this fear is tricky to overcome because programming may be a large part of the identity you have crafted for yourself. Letting go of programming can lead to feeling less like yourself. And the fear that folks will stop calling you for jobs or other programming projects can be compounded if you decide to take a temporary break from programming. If the break is temporary will people move on from thinking of you as a programmer during your absence. +### FIXME Each of these fears is a valid fear, but they may not be the truth. We can't control how others perceive us or how organizations move on without us. What we can control is our participation in each of these communities. We can determine if a hard break from programming would be better than gradually easing ourselves out of our commitments. We can clarify to others what our current status is and if this is something that is permanent or temporary. But what is most important is that we don't let others persuade us into doing something that is not what we want or is harmful to us. If we need to stop programming because we are emotionally drained and burned out then we need to make it clear to others that we will be doing as disservice to them and ourselves if we continue.